"To the 'real world',

Please be kind upon our return, I get so scared thinking about what 'normal' looks like - and do I even want normal again? I love solitude but I crave people, I love time to think, reflect, be creative but can I do that with work, bf, people. What is the balance?

I know you love me but you demand so much from me I don't know sometimes if you truly want me to be happy. I'm 25 and that scares me because I'm nowhere I think I should be. I want to go to Japan and Korea and New Zealand and I want to act and sing and love and experience but I need money and time and support. And I've had so much time to think but what have I done. All I can do is love. Love love love. All I've truly been an expert in. I love my friends so much it hurts. I love leaves, wet leaves thriving in the humid air, it feels nostalgic somehow. When we go back to 'normal', can it not be normal? Can it be good? And aware and helpful and beautiful?"