Published by Open Love Letters


TRANSCRIPT:

"Dear S

I think we are around a month into lock down now, the rain feels like an extra cage around us, some days it feels safe and others, suffocating.  That said, I am feeling so grateful every day to wake up to a whole and healthy home.

I’ve been planning on writing to you for a long time but convinced myself that life was getting in the way.  Now that everything is still, it seems a tragedy to disrupt it by turning around and staring things in the face, but it was you that taught me the power of doing exactly that.

I miss my friends coming around and climbing into my bed, I miss squeezing their hands and faces and draping myself over their shoulders.  I miss embarrassing my family in public with my cackling laughter and watching them apologise with their eyes on my behalf when I can’t hold it in. 

There is a line in my favourite poem ‘we should hold each other more while we are still alive, even if it hurts’.  I think we all might hurt for a while after this, I hope we learn to be gentler with each other. 

I have thought a lot about what you would say to me during this time, I can even hear your voice in my head as though you are still taking those steps with me.  I used to feel like you had already lived out my whole life for me, and that’s how you always knew exactly what to say.  I think in some ways, I will always be walking with your feet under mine.  I hope you’re doing good, I am sure you are.

T x"